So hypothetically speaking it’s the first day of finals after the first semester. As you leave your mom asks you to take an iron supplement which is something she had been asking you to do for a couple of months since September.
Why did she want you to take iron supplements? Well in September you decided that you would donate blood, mostly because of the time where your dad almost died, but didn’t, and like a blood transfusion saved him. So you are like yes, donating blood seems very baller and cool. It’s a Monday and you have your easy classes that day. They call you in about a half hour to forty-five minutes into the school day. So the donating part goes fine, and then your sitting in the rest area after, and an acquaintance is talking your ear off about Elizabeth Warren. A family friend just happens to walk by, and says “hey, your lips are turning blue.” uh oh. You say “Maybe you should get a phlebotomist,” and promptly pass out, falling out of your chair in the process while also cutting your forehead on seemingly nothing but the gym floor.
When you wake up there’s a flurry of activity, and they are making sure that you don’t have a concussion. Then they call your mom who’s at work, and then they have to call your dad who’s working on making room for a groovy hot tub in the backyard. He shows up around the same time that the paramedics show up. He’s kinda apathetic as you’ve interrupted his workday, but he’s probably more miffed by your semi-distant relative who’s helping him for the day. The paramedics try tp get you to stand up, and you faint again so they have to take you to the hospital. The ambulance ride is cool because you’re not dying, so they don’t have to turn on the weewoo.
You get stitches at the hospital while your dad is there with your relative, and your brother. Shortly after your dad is like “Since your brother is here I’m leaving, bye see you later.” Your brother isn’t happy with this because he misses a lab, and drops his grade because of you hehe. Eventually your mom shows up and you get pizza, skip school the next day and kinda vibe.
For the next couple of months your mom asks you to take iron supplements, and the day that you finally do, is the first day of finals. Every morning you grab a bagel and some cheese, and as it happens this day your mom also makes you a couple slices of turkey bacon. You never eat breakfast at home because you like to eat breakfast with other people, so you usually eat in the hallway before class, or during class. Today you eat before class, and at the same time you take that iron supplement.
It’s pretty normal at first, and though it is the first day of finals you only really have one test, and it’s next period. Essentially you’re free for the next two hours besides the paper copying that theatre teacher (mean And derogatory) wants you to do because you’re basically a student aid or whatever. Another thing is that flier is also kind of a student aid, but really because of logistics he still has to take a written test about theatre tech, but he is nice enough to let you play that one game where you drag the hole around and it eats like a city, or a group of islands on his phone. Let’s not wonder why the only apps on your phone are like social media sites, and regrettably, Wattpad™️ or like the r with a circle? I am not really sure.
Anyway, it’s all going well for maybe thirty minutes, and that’s when you notice something a little off. As you walk back from copying some tests or something you kinda get like a tiny wee bit of an upset stomach,,, first thought uh oh, maybe shit? But it goes away so you keep gaming on flier’s phone, and essentially you vibe, right? No. Not right. You start to feel way worse, and since you’re one of those kids that is you know, awkward I guess, perhaps anxious, you think for twenty minutes about what you are going to say to theatre teacher (mean And derogatory). Even though it’s like weird for you to be stressed out about asking to go to the bathroom to a person that you’ve had to spend a lot of time, and by a lot of time, I mean over hundreds of hours. To counter everyone in the room is dead silent, taking finals, and the room in question is a theater that seats around I don’t know, 500 people. Okay I guess because it’s not full of 500 people, and there are probably only around 40ish people, but I digress… or do I?
So after that agonizingly stressful, and uncomfortable twenty minutes, you’re into this class like 50 minutes in total, and because it’s finals that’s a little under halfway through, but I guess that really doesn’t matter. You then get up and walk from the right side of the audience down from row “f” up to the stage where theatre teacher (mean And derogatory) sits, probably doing something unproductive. As you walk down the steps all you can do is rehearse what you’re about to say, ‘hey [nickname for theatre teacher] I need to use the bathroom.’ Unfortunately that’s not what you say.
As soon as you get to your theatre teacher you realize you were wrong. In a split second it’s that Capone song from TikTok, the Oh No song, and thats when instead of saying what you had rehearsed you say, “I think I’m gonna vom.” Any questions about what happened next? That’s right. I fucking threw up right on the stage, a big orange puddle with a green streak, which just so happened to be that gosh darn iron supplement. Even worse, I throw up again like a few seconds later, and I can hear lying person scared of birds laughing, as she had finished her final early, and had managed to catch me throwing up as well as flier who had looked up as I walked by. Theatre teacher (mean And derogatory) had immediately run to to one of the wings to get away from my mess heh.
And for a moment I stood there. In my Fleece Navidad Christmas sweater, one arm in my pile of vomit, as flier called my mom. Gotta be the funniest thing I ever did. So I went back into the dressing room, and changed out of my sweater. And for some reason my dad and brother came to get me and my car, because I guess if you vom you can not drive? How would you react if after this (hypothetical) situation, a few people mentioned that it sounded like soup being spilled on the stage?? Soup???
hypothetically speaking 